I sit at this confuckled clutter monstrosity of a desk just waiting. four days left. Four days in this school , in this job, in this life. Where to go next completely eludes me as much as I try to grab on tight and hold on for dear life it just slips right through my fucking fingers and runs and hides laughing in the corner. These boxes in front of me, these walls they are full and empty at the same time. Yet still the remnants of my last assignment is scribbled on the whiteboard in that green marker. Someone tagged my board underneath it. Its quiet here, I think I just saw Jose scraping the floor, no doubt he will be in my room soon to gather the gum that somehow has been ground into the linoleum. All that time that I spent online today I must have filled out 5-10 applications, searched uncountable databases, and researched that stupid company more times than I can count. Stupid magic eight ball in my head keeps coming up - results look dismal and I know it to the bone. This whole fucking world has gone insane. Gas prices almost 5 dollars a gallon, oil costs 300 a month and thats on the fucking budget plan, electricity is going up now too. Food is more expensive, and jobs still don't pay what you need to live. My one delight of the day was when I was ignoring the conversation buzzing in my right ear and annalees walked in carrying roses. I couldve cried. Changing one life is like this dream that is so difficult to imagine until it actually happens. You take a girl out of a hole and place her into something better and its just right. I'm going to make sure I put these in water when I get home. Hmm home, another thing to look forward to. Until they take it away my home is my sanctuary, or at least when my nosy neighbor isnt sneaking around trying to see whats going on. Regardless home is where I will be in just a few short hours.Just a few short hours. I wish I knew what to say next because right now all I have going around in my head is the worry about this stupid business venture, and I have no business sense, and the worry about what the hell I'm going to do come august. Obviously this worry has turned into some kind of rant that is traveling from my brain to my fingers and god knows when it will come out of my mouth only time can tell that little scenario, for now though I'm gone like.. (insert something witty)